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This is a small client. A locally owned business she makes hypoallergenic soaps,body wash, lotions, lip balm that kind of thing. The name of the business is "The Mom lady's beauty booty". Let me know what you think!

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I have a friend who does something similar here, under the business name "Sumptuous Soaps."
The few times she's used radio, her approach has been more straightforward
and direct.

The opening of your commercial caught my attention and held it. The imagery
of a pirate with formerly dry hands and skin was clear. But I have to admit, I have
a hard time going along with the "Captain Sparrow" thing, because the pirate's voice
was not that of Johnny Depp. That's a problem inherent with trying to spoof a character
that has become so familiar to so many. We don't believe the character, so we don't
have a reason to believe anything he says.

For this reason, assuming one wanted to keep the pirate motif, it might be better to bring in a different spokesman to step in and tell the listener Captain Sparrow's secret to smooth skin. In any case, the real issue is: did the commercial ring The Mom Lady's cash register?
Hi Missy,

Good to see you took my advice and joined Radio Sales Cafe! I like the spot but....it is missing a clear call to action or emotional hook. It is funny and memorable but seems to be aimed more at men than the women who typically use and buy the product. I am curios...what did the client think? Are they getting any results? Just my feedback. Hope you are doing great. I am busier than a one arm paper hanger! Say hello to Dave for me. Take care!

Julie
KFMJ 99.9 FM
Ketchikan, AK
The conceit of the pirate with smooth skin and moist lips is amusing. Beyond that, I don't know any women who would respond to this in a way that would make them rush out and buy the product.

Granted, you're in Fairbanks, which no doubt has a population of women who work close to (if not on) the water, so maybe there's a piracy awareness factor of which, as a western mountain dweller, I'm woefully ignorant . But the reality is (a) a woman wants something very specific from a beauty product, (b) the core message must somehow be relevant to beauty, and (c) most women I know don't respond well to the notion of being addressed as "Wench!" and thrown overboard. (Again, I may be ignorant of the Alaskan female mindset. I have heard there's a preference for flannel shirts and work boots--but that may be a somewhat skewed perspective.)

The performances need to be stronger. The pirate sounds piratical but is hard to understand, and the woman doesn't have much command of that accent--and the whole thing is a cartoon which, again, doesn't seem apropos the sales message. Unless, of course, the client has established a cartoony image for everything she does (which opens a whole other can of marketing worms). Yes, "The Mom Lady's Beauty Booty" is already concept with some silliness at its core. Yet, it still seems that there has to be something there that can serve the brand while speaking to the heart of the prospect.

The bottom line: I'd shoot for something less clever, more honest, more poetic, something that more potently crystallizes the experience and benefits of using the product. I know that there's often a mission to shoot for comedy--but in this case, I'd go for something less broad. Instead of comedy, humor can work--humor being gentler and more thoughtful than easy gags.

Break a leg. And if this commercial is working gangbusters, then what do I know? Take everything I said and flush it. (Wouldn't be the first time.)
As others have said here, if it's working great. What size is your market? Are they the only company selling this kind of thing? I agree with all the replies you have had. In any dialogue spot, the acting has to work and for me this doesn't so I hear it as a tune out. Consequently the name didn't stick with me, any benefit/offer that was mentioned didn't either and I don't know what the call to action is. Take Blaine's feedback and run with it. :-). Good luck with the campaign.

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