Les Patterson’s Monday Morning Boost: Change is good tough!

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    They say change is good. I agree.

     

    But it’s also pretty darn tough!

     

    That’s where I find myself today. Smack dab in the middle of change. Specifically, I’m in the middle of a major career change. And yes, it’s pretty darn tough!

     

    Change is part of every aspect of life. It’s unavoidable for the most part. Sometimes change is due to our own choices; sometimes due to the circumstances of life. When such change comes, again whether by our own choice or circumstances outside our influence, we have a great opportunity presented to us.

     

    So how do we deal with the change?

     

    7 Things You Need to Know to Deal with Major Life Changes

     

    I’ve gained some insight and inspiration from Dr. Lisabeth Saunders Medlock. She offers 7 tips for dealing with major life changes. Here’s a summary.

     

    1. It’s okay to be emotional – Sadness, anger, frustration, confusion. These are all natural feelings, especially if we feel the change has been thrust upon us. Medlock says to have a “pity party, but only for a day or two, and then [we] have to move on.” Give yourself permission to experience the emotion. It’s important. But then get up and win the race by putting yourself in a “place of hope and of growth.”

     

    2. Give yourself permission to be vulnerable – It’s natural to want to be strong, at least appear to be strong, even if we don’t feel that way. But the truth is we’re scared, vulnerable and needing help. “We need to allow ourselves to rely on others,” Medlock writes. “And showing that vulnerability is OK.” Being vulnerable is not always a bad thing. Being vulnerable opens us up to learning, self-inspection, and accepting help from others.

     

    3. You are never alone – It’s easy to feel like we are all alone when taking a difficult journey. Maybe we feel no one else can understand what we’re going through. Maybe feelings of discouragement or depression start to set in. Medlock counsels: “There are others that can empathize with you. You’re not alone. Even if you don’t ask people to be around you, family and close friends will come to your side.”

     

    4. You have to ask for help – When hard times come to others, we sometimes are not sure what to say to them or how to help. If only they would ask us! We need to remember that when it’s our turn and ask for help. It’s not easy, or convenient. But people are ready to help. Medlock suggests we ask “very specifically for what [we] need and… what [we] need to hear. Being able to clearly articulate what [we] need gives people a sense of relief.” Asking for help is empowering, to both us and those who want to help.

     

    5. You can adapt to anything – We really can adapt to anything. It’s simple human nature. “Necessity is the mother of invention,” according to Medlock, “and you will naturally find ways to solve your problems and do things in new and different ways when [we’re] presented with challenges.” Believe you can, believe you will.

     

    6. Have hope for the future – It’s tough to have hope when we feel life is beating us up. Finding hope starts with planting the seed. And that takes work. Lots of hard work. A mentor of mine, Scott Stephenson, shared this encouragement: “To Be A Partaker Of Hope We Must Plow And Thresh!” Planting and nurturing the seed takes a lot of work. Then we have to thresh, or harvest, the crop as it comes in. Again, more hard work. Yet, something magical happens when we work hard. Our spirits are lifted, endorphins are created, and we start to see things more clearly. Thus we gain a brighter hope. Medlock says it best, “Believing that things can and will be different, and that you will see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can’t see like me, is the most important thing in getting through a change process. Knowing that there is an end in sight, knowing there are possibilities, and having hope that things are going to be better. And, ultimately, things are going to work out.”

     

    7. You will grow as a person, but you are still the same – “Going through a change, especially one that is traumatic, changes you forever. It changes how you see life and deal with things. You’re never going to be the same again and that’s a good thing. Because in the midst of change is a great deal of learning, if you are willing to have vision and perspective.” Yet, Medlock teaches, even with all this “radical change,” we are still the same person at the core, with the same values, just stronger, better, and wiser.  

     

    I have been experiencing just about everything you have just read about. I’m guessing you have to at some point in your life. And guess what? We’ll experience it again in the future!

     

    Yes, change is tough. But’s also pretty darn good!

     

    Have a great Monday! Thanks for letting me share.

     

    Les

     

    p.s. Take 13 minutes today to ponder on the changes you’ve experienced and how you can grow from them.